Questions Daisies Ask

The advice is good for both sexes actually but remember, its us girls that have everything to lose!

Please be careful. It only takes a minute for things to go wrong. As advised on previous answers on this blog, dating is discouraged at this stage and there is a time for everything and a season for every activity. You will date and get tired of it…when the time is right. Don’t be in a hurry to peep into the future that belongs to you. Enjoy this season of your life! You will never have it again.

You may not be able to suddenly stop liking a person simply because you want to. You must have a reason why you need to stop liking Him. Once you have come to a decision on why you dont want to like him, maybe becayse you are not ready or the timing is just wrong, then you need to believe it and act according to your decision and not based on your feelings. Be sincere to yourself about your feelings and laugh about it to yourself. Then take steps such as reducing and advisably eliminating contacts and communication for a while until you have gotten over him. Feelings die when they are not fed. So, wait it out until your feelings will go.

Its The One that will find you! Dont worry. You just keep being the best and giving life your best shot. Pray, study and live life happy and be kind and God -fearing. He will find you amonsgt tens and tens of thousands others. 

Lol…yes guys hate the friendship zone and it makes them feel “uncool” but my dear daisy, this is one of the lies of the times in which we we live. Why should being platonic friends with a guy be uncool and a romantic friendship be cool? Who makes those rules? Its all a creation of some active minds and we all just allow it to rule. We must create our own rules and that which works for us.

Secondly, at this stage, I wouldn’t worry so much about the guy. He’s a man…he will sort himself out.  I will just rather you stay safe. Its better for the guy to be ashamed now than for you to get pregnant or violated. If he likes you, he will respect you more for taking that friendship stand and if its meant to be, that friendship will blossom into a beautiful relationship. So worry less…it will be alright.

Okay..lets take this like this – first of all, we have established that the Bible is our final authority and our guide..and that we derive our standards from the Bible. So, to answer this I would refer to the passage that says “Our bodies are the temple of God”.  If God owns the temple, then He determines its usage. So, let this be your guide in this and all other things.

Sex is Gods idea and He instituted it to be between a man and a woman joined together as one in marriage. If he wanted masturbation, then Adam would have slept with himself! If he wanted bestiality, then Adam would have slept with the animals and so on! Anything outside Gods original plan and intention is perversion and sin, which always has its consequences.  There is a proper use of  the body and also an improper use of the body, the Bible being the yardstick in right and wrong. So, my dear daisy, masturbation is an improper use of the body as captured excellently in Romans 1:21 -32. Walk away from it as soon as you can. It will lead you nowhere..rather it will open your spirit up to demonic possession and all that. You don’t need it. Wait. Please…

Yes she is wrong. Relationships are neither the solution nor are they an adequate replacement for a Father/Mothers love. Relationships need to be entered into by people who are whole and not needy..else they will drain the other person by constantly expecting them to fill a gap that they are not able to fill. A man cannot give you the affirmation and love you need from your parents. Only God can fill that void and when the girl is whole and healed, then she can love.

Men cannot give her what she is seeking for. She will very likely be disappointed and heart broken which will only make matters worse. It is better for her to talk to a mentor or counsellor who can hear her out and where possible, seek for ways that her parents can be approached carefully and bring their attention to their daughters needs.

When you have the right information about a thing, you are better informed and better equipped to make good choices. Also, by realising the consequences of your decisions, you will make your choices wisely. It has been said that if you cannot endure the pain of discpline then you will bear the pain of regret but there is no escaping the two. Choices  You need to surround yourself with positive influences and begin to study the Bible. Pray to God and ask for wisdom. He will surely help you.

An 8 yr old has no business liking a guy. Her parents should not be understanding at all! You need to get her back to her toys and dolls!

Emotions can be tricky especially at the Adolescent stage. If she can slod down..really slow down on the “love”, it will help her know how real the feelings are as time is a good test of feelings. Another thing to consider also is that if a girl has low self esteem, one common trait is that she will always look for validation from others, especially men. With the slightest attention, she may get carried away and if the attention is consistent, she may think she is in love.External validation is fleeting and fickle and if she takes it too seriously, it would lead to bad break ups.  Tell your friend to slow down..and get to know herself more. You can also invite her to read this blog and get in touch with us if she needs more counseling.

Can I ask you – Have you forgiven yourself? If not, you will be trapped in the cycle of regret and you will not be able to move past the disappointment. Recognise that we are all fallible and we all make mistakes and that once we confess our sins, God forgives us. Also, we must repent which means to turn away from the sin…and by Gods grace and with discipline, we can prevent ourselves repeating these mistakes. Please forgive yourself and dont be too hard on you. We cant change the past. We can only guard the future well. Realise that “things happen” but refuse to stay down. The only place left to go is UP. Encourage yourself, Get up and Be strong.

Most parents are protective as they should but once they are able to ascertain that you will handle yourself responsibly wether they are present or absent, they will let up and let you be. Its all about trust. If your parents trust you, if you have demonstrated maturity and self discipline, they will naturally let you take on certain responsibilities. Most parents will do this is measures…little by little until they are convinced. To prove that maturity, you must do this in other areas of life..in household chores, in looking after your Juniors, taking care of your room, volunteering in church..and so on. All these point to the fact that you are ready to take care of yourself and you understand what responsibility is. If all you do is laze around, sit in front of the TV, chat on your phone…then dont expect them to think you are matured! The onus is on you to prove to your mom that you can handle life..and this comes from your ability to handle every day situations.

Also, learn to ask your mum questions..deep questions that will show her you have given thought to things. This will help foster a relationship and make room for communication. Your Mum is your friend…not your enemy.

Nothing touchy or sensual. Talk, laugh, share, letters…but nothing erotic, sensual or dirty. Ensure its something others can read and see! For now, you’ve got to keep those emotions in check!!!

Its perfectly okay my Dear Daisy. Popularity and being right do not always go together. It can be hard taking an unpopular stand but do not let the desire to be accepted and to belong make you compromise on who you are. You may need to endure many embarrassing moments but take baby steps. e.g do not offer your opinion in a public place to an unsupportive crowd if you are not yet ready or able to handle their rejection or disapproval. Let them be the ones that will come and ask you..and believe me, if you are consistent, they will come. Also, find friends who share your beliefs and be proud of it. Celebrate yourselves and have fun. In no time, others will come around you asking how you are doing it. Trust me…you are the real “stars” for taking the “unpopular” stand..not your friends. They are the ones who need to “belong” to your clique..not the other way round!

These questions are “beautiful” questions if I can call them that because these are the kind of questions you really want to ask at this stage of your life. As I explained, you are in the season of your awareness and you have started to climb the ladder of self discovery. Today something will appeal to you and the next day, it will not. Don’t worry. Whatever your hands find to to do, do it well. Whatever stage you are…excel there. It will lead you to the door thats next for you. Like we said on the Daises Day, Life is like doors. One door leads to the next and that next leads to another next..and so on and on. Prayerfully go through each door and ask God to guide you to the next door in your life..and see where it takes you. You will end well. In Jesus Name.

Every year, do a stock taking. Look through your life and search for mistakes and miracles. Look at where you did well and decide to improve on where you didn’t do so well.

Also, ask yourself, each year – what is my present passion? Write down the answer. After a few years, look for the consistent one. It may be the key to discovering who you really are. 

If you are already in the university on a different course, finish it and then go back for your masters in the course you really love. It will make you better and give you an edge over others. All things work together for good.

Firmly but politely saying no. And let your No be No. If he gets persistent or dangerous, quickly escalate it to someone older. If you do not like the person, you just do not like them. Simple. Theres nothing wrong with that. If you like the person, be friends. Tell Him you cannot be more than friends.

The age of Adolescence is the age of awareness…awareness of your body, your feelings, yourself. Your body undergoes a chemical and physical change and you begin to search for answers about life, you, everything. You have a question hunger and desire to know, to discover and to become you. The key is that you need to find something good and laudable to throw your passion into and channel these growing emotions to. Get busy. Find an activity you like and throw yourself into it. If you dont, others will help you divert that passion and it may be into all the wrong things! So, my advise is this (a) find someone you can talk to – a trusted mentor; (b) find a vocation and activity that you love and enjoy doing (c) Go easy on yourself. You are on a path of discovery so your likes and dislikes will change ever so often. Its okay…Once you know that this is a natural process of change, it helps you in dealing with your emotions and hormones. (d) Join the G.O.D Club!

(a) You forgive yourself by simply forgiving yourself. Yesterday is gone. No amount of sadness or regret can change what is past. The earlier you forgive yourself and move on to face your brighter future, the better. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. We just must learn to get up and keep going towards perfection.

(b) Yes! Yes you can. Absolutely. Bible says if our sins be as scarlet, He will make them as white as snow. Go on your knees, repent of your sins and confess Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. Invite him into your heart and ask Him to make Himself real to you. Ask Him for forgive you of all your sins and decide to not do them again. Ask for grace to stand and shut the door and access points to sin. Start studying your bible and get new friends who are good christians. Look for a good bible believing church or fellowship and start from there. And don’t forget, Join the G.O.D Club!

Female circumcision has been outlawed in many countries of the world because it is genital mutilation. It is an abnormality and therefore not in favor of the woman. Yes, it removes the pleasure spot for women but it also denies a women the right to have pleasure with her husband within the confines of marriage. God designed our bodies perfectly and if He knew that we would need our genitals mutilated, he would have said so. It is brutal and almost barbaric. Why would anyone deny a woman of the ability to have pleasurable intercourse with her husband? It sounds like a law promulgated by a very jealous man, if you ask me! Glad its been banned!

The fact that you are sad, pressured and made to succumb to his desires means he is using you. He is using his “matured mentality” to have his way with you and this means that he is abusing that place of authority or leverage he has over you. He needs to stop it and you need to stop allowing him use you. Your body is not the way to show him that you love him and it is not by you accommodating his desires that you prove love to him. If He has feelings for you and those feelings are true, He will not put you in a situation where you feel pressured to lower your standards. Get out of this situation fast and seek help. He is just using you.

You need to get help fast and quickly. Get yourself out of that environment and run to a place where you are safe. From that place of safety, reach out to trusted persons who will believe you. Please inbox me as soon as you can. 

You must not hold yourself responsible for what you cannot control. Life happens and we sometimes find ourselves in a place where we never imagined we will be. When we dont have answers, we sometimes think it is our fault and we allow that situation mar us for the rest of our lives. We take permanent decisions based on temporary situations and we allow our yesterday cloud and cast a shadow on our tomorrow. No No NO! Don’t do this. If you do, then you have allowed handed over your life to the rapist or the assaulter and you are allowing that situation to control your present even though it is over. 

I have discovered that life often attacks us in our area of strength and robs us of the opportunity to be who we are before we even get the chance. Maybe the key to your purpose is in the person you marry and because some wicked person raped you, you will not go on to find the joy and the fulfillment God has destined for you to have? Maybe your mission is to help raped women and because you have been a victim once, you want to continue to be a victim by sleeping with more men? 

My dear Daisy, do not allow the past to determine your future. The only way you can conquer and overcome is to rise above your fears. Face that problem squarely and refuse to let it put you down or get the better of you. Refuse to give in to the limitations of your past. Rise above it. You were made for much more. One incident cannot define your future. You are better than this!

Become a Virgin-AGAIN! Yes…you can.

We have started a mentoring program for our daises and we will be coming to your school soon. This will be mainly online and in schools as well. We will share Truth and deal with questions and issues that are relevant to your age group and hope by the truths you learn, you will make better decisions and you will be equipped and groomed for life.

There is nothing impossible to him that believes. Have you heard that saying before? The fact that you are thinking it means that you can do it. The fact that it has occurred to you means that there is something inside of you that wants to reach out and save a generation. Decide today to be who you are. Start by taking baby steps…small steps in the right direction. Some helpful tips are: (a) Start a Journal like Ty Bello said. Start writing your thoughts down in that journal (b) Look for people who inspire you and who are doing what you want to do. Study them, follow them, read about them. (c) Get information. Study and find out more about the pros and cons of what you want to do. Equip yourself with information. As you do these, you will know wether you are following the right steps. If you get tired or bored after a while, it may not be for you but if you keep getting fired up and driven by what you discover, then you may want to follow that line. Your passion is always a key to your purpose. I wish you well!

Every one faces fear, especially stage fear but at one time or the other, we must just decide to face our fears. Think about it like this – ‘Whats the worst that can happen if I open my mouth and sing loudly and boldly”? Will my friends laugh? What if they don’t and I do it beautifully well? What if I sing so well that everyone loves me? Focus on the positive outcome of your singing and less on the negative. Choose to believe in yourself, your gifts and your talents and face your fears. There is always an “If”..but great people are those who have learnt/found a way to despise the “ifs” of life and dare to chase their dreams. Its time to chase yours Daisy! Face your fears and be you!

Thank you Dear Daisy for opening up. I will first of all like you to answer a question. – “Are you the kind of person you would want to be friends with”? The Bible says that He that will have friends must show himself friendly. Do you show yourself friendly? Are you kind? Are you genuine? Are you considerate? Do you honestly and sincerely wish the best for people? 

The Key to finding good friends is first to love yourself and be friends with yourself. If you do this, you will come across true friends. (We will discus this more in our mentorship program for girls)

The simplest way to approach this will be to say – By not pulling them down in any way but rather encourage, support and help them in whatever way you can in their journey of life. Dimming the light on another person doesn’t necessarily make you shine brighter. In fact, it makes your flame go out quicker. The Bible says we should “prefer one another”..”esteem other better than you”. In other words, don’t make everything about yourself. Life doesn’t revolve around you alone. Make it about others. When we shine together, our light goes farther and reaches further. Selah..

Here, you need to be counseled and helped. You need to open up to someone you can trust, a mentor, who can help you and not take advantage of you. There are different ways to approach this – prayers, counseling, deliverance but you need to open up. Meanwhile, the first step right now is to shut the door to porn and sex. Delete accounts, burn books, end relationships or whatever it is that leads you down that road. Close that door right away and get help. You can be free…many have been free..you too can be free. You can inbox me for more…

Sex is an emotional, physical and a spiritual experience which fuses the spirit, the mind and the soul of two people together. The Bible calls it a “Knowing”.  When a man and woman come together, they “know” one another. In that act is a fusion of two beings becoming one. As physical as it is, it is very spiritual…and this is why the owner and the creator of sex, intended that this take place within the confines of a lifetime committing institution called Marriage. Now, I believe when a woman sleeps with her husband, she is “immune” from any spiritual issues; BUT the husband is not immune. 

Sex was never made to be casual or to be approached with levity; it is always special, wether it is a first time or a repeated occurrence. Sex is deep and spiritual and it is potentially perfect when it is done at the right time within the right walls. God wrote the manual on this and when we 

In Sex, soul ties are formed and it has been proven that with that exchange of bodily fluids, there is a spiritual transfer that takes place. Let Him wait. You’re worth the wait.

When you are spiritually, physically, financially & emotionally Mature enough to bear the responsibility of having one;   Now this is hard and almost impossible before 18 or when you are still in Secondary School. Have friends…a Special friend…but leave out the exclusivity angle for now. It can wait.

YES IT IS. At that age, a boy has no business touching your privates. You’re crossing the line. Inbox me for more talk..immediately!

 If it happens within the confines of marriage (after marriage), I would say Yes..although this doesn’t automatically guarantee a failsafe marriage. If it happens before marriage, It could be a Yes or No. It will depend on the guy.  

P.S. You are already special and it doesn’t take a man sleeping with you to make any more special.  When a man wants sex, He will say anything to get it and after the deed is done, he may possibly forget all about you and seek the next “special” girl. Sleeping with a virgin is a trophy for many guys…Please don’t be a number in someone’s statistics! Be You – Special, Beautiful, Pure and Kept! Wait..and wait again.

Let me first say that the lines of right and wrong here are determined by the Bible which is the Word of God. The Bible says fornication is sin. Fornication is sex outside marriage. Therefore sex outside the confines of marriage is wrong. In a situation where this already happened and they get married, then they are very fortunate and blessed and i’m sure once they repent and and make their peace with God on the matter, they’ll be forgiven – as we all.  However, if it hasn’t happened and you allow the guy sleep with you, thinking you will marry him..you may end up being very disappointed if for some reason, you eventually don’t get married to the guy. Stay safe..WAIT!

Ha ha ha! Don’t be so sure my dear Daisy! Have you heard the saying “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread”? In today’s world, people have become emboldened and losing virginity has become very common place, despite the fact that a girls purity and virginity is a thing of honor and pride! It is something she should wear proudly like a badge of honor!

Your question may be far from accurate especially if the guy has probably “disvirgined” many girls before and will still do same after! Keep yourself and don’t wait to discover wether he will look at your face or not! It is very humiliating, embarrassing and self degrading thing when you give yourself to a person who doesn’t have any iota of respect and value for you. You will hate yourself after and feel very worthless even though this is so far from the truth. Truth is – You are priceless, you are precious and you deserve better. Wait. Let Sex happen within the walls of marriage – not outside. Its how God ordained it. He knows better than all of us. Hard but true.

The big question is – Can you really keep it innocent? You’ve got to be sincere to yourself. At this stage, it is hard to keep it innocent. My dear girl, if you like a boy and you just want to spend more time with him, talk and laugh..then call him a friend! Call him a buddy or something! Define it and let that definition set limits for the two of you but don’t call it a relationship. Relationship has a connotation of exclusivity…you know…like “He is mine and no one elses” and this introduces all sorts into the friendship. That label of exclusivity has its own demands and it requires a level of commitment that you may not be able to give each other at this stage of your lives. More often than not, out of the desire to commit to one another, many teenagers go into sex thinking that the act of sex will “fortify” the relationship…No no no! That is not “Truth”. It is false. It guarantees nothing and it leads to hearbreak, emotional trauma, costly mistakes, withdrawal, depression, unwanted pregnancies and so on.

What is advised is just good friendship. Don’t say that you will be strong enough to handle it..You probably wont be. Its not possible to handle fire and not get burnt. Your body is not meant to handle certain types of pressure and temptation. It will cave and give in. So rather than do something you would regret, for now, stay safe and be friends. Cry now, laugh tomorrow..

Truth. Know the truth. Seek the truth. Find the truth. The difference between two people is what one knows that the other doesn’t know. When you know the truth and believe it, it gives you the ability, the power and the inner strength to resist because you know the truth.

In life, there are “exceptional” people and there are “ordinary” people…and we must choose which we want to be. We will always find ourselves in situations where everyone around is doing something and we will have to make a choice. In times like this, you need to ask yourself  – What are the consequences of the actions of “everybody’? Where does it lead them? What advantages are there if you sleep around vis a vis keeping yourself pure? Which is better for you on the long run? Are there advantages of delaying gratification? You must consider the outcome of every action and decide – “This is what I want to do and no matter what happens, I am ready to bear the consequences of my actions”. This leads us back to truth. You must know what is true about these issues. Keep reading..we will shed more light on the Truth!

When you keep yourself pure, you are saving yourself from untold complications in life. Choose Purity! Choose to be different from the crowd. #Teampurity! #TeamGodsOwnDiva!

Since you asked this question, I can assume that you love God and you already have a relationship with Him. So here you are, you want to grow in God but you also want to be able to have a boyfriend if someone great comes along. On this premise, I will say Girl, this can be tricky business..if not deceptive.. and for this reason I would advise you to hold off  on boyfriends at this stage of your life (as a High School Student). Right now, there is still so much that you need to know about being holy and growing in God, finding yourself, the path to your future/your career and excelling in your studies. With all this going on, boyfriends right now will be a major distraction. However, dont just take my word for it. Ask yourself – What purpose will a boyfriend serve now?  Life is about choices…some hard and some easy and we must ponder on the consequences of a thing before we engage in it. Trying to be holy is hard enough without having boyfriends and sex in the equation. My advice..wait! You’ve got a lifetime ahead of you to find your prince charming.

In today’s world, Sex is touted heavily “in our faces”, promoted and pushed at us from various angles. From toothpaste adverts to raunchy shows on primetime TV, we would be denial if the issue is not properly addressed and taught. It is the Truth that sets free. When you know the truth about something, that truth will set you free from the deception and the lies about that thing. The more truth you know about something, the less likely you are able to be deceived or misled about that thing. Its our desire to put across the right information so you can learn the right things about life. This is to enable you make sound decisions in life…Its all about decisions, girls!!

The G.O.D Club is a non-profit organisation registered in Nigeria for the purpose of mentoring. It provides a forum where younger women can be mentored, taught, tutored and guided along as they go along the path of self development.

G.O.D. is a morality club made up of women in the frontline passionate about mentoring the next generation of women who desire to be in the frontline. It’s aim is to restore lost morals and virtues in the next generation and to mentor, raise and build as many leading women as possible so that they can in turn influence others.

• TO REINSTALL LOST MORALS AND VIRTUES AMONGST WOMEN IN THE SOCIETY;
• TO EMPOWER GIRLS AND YOUNG LADIES THROUGH THE TEACHING /EDUCATION OF ETIQUETTES, SKILLS, VIRTUES, PROPRIETY AND FEMININE VALUES;
• TO HELP EVERY WOMAN LOOK WITHIN AND DISCOVER THE VALUABLE TREASURES THAT GOD HAS PLACED WITHIN AND ALSO HELP OTHERS DISCOVER SAME.

• Our mission is “to be, to raise, to mentor, to build and to motivate a generation of God’s Leading Ladies. We do this via different methods such as Club Outreaches to universities, secondary schools and primary schools. We also have a 24 hour chat room for members of the club and the Summer Camp for the GodsLittleDivas.

• GodsOwnDaises are also referred to as the Blue Daisies. They are the girls aged 14 – 18 who are members of the G.O.D. Club and have access to all Club Benefits.  They have their own chat room where they can discuss various issues with mentors who can help and advise as needed. However, for the Divas Chat room, they can only access that room after the age of 18 yrs.

  For more information, please contact us.

• The GLD’s (GodsLittleDivas) are the Golden Starlets. They are girls aged 7 -13 yrs and they are the beneficiaries of the GodsLittleDiva Summer Camp which holds every year at the end of the summer. Please see the GLD Summer Camp post for more information.

  For more information, please contact us.

• No. There is a very special category called the White Lilies and this is for women aged 40 and above. They are the mentors and they represent the voice of wisdom in the club. G.O.D Club has no age restriction for the older ones, only the very young.

• The GodsOwnDiva Club Visionary & Founder is TiOluwalade Akomolede (TiO)

  The Executive Team, Called the Core 7 who are the 7 ladies who work with TiO in running the club. They are Yomi Akiyosoye – Club Strategist/Advsier; Mo Osomo – Club Publicist, Jumoke Adigun – the Club Treasurer, Toyin Ashaolu – Club Coordinator; Funmi Fayose- Club Events Manager, Tope Akande – Club Secretary  & Deo Osinuga – Club Administrator.

  Working with TiO in running the Admin Office of the Club is the Office Administrator, Mercy Eitaio-Alao.

  Next in Rank is the Next 7. They are the group of 7 ladies who assist as Service Team Heads and who serve in the Club for a One year period.  Currently, we have Busolami Wale Siyanbola – Daises Coordinator, Aderonke Abiona – Media Coordinator, Lara Awobadejo – Welfare Coordinator, Adebola Owede – Style & Decor Coordinator, Jacqueline Oludimu – Schools Coordinator, Adenike Osinowo – Logistics Coordinator & Abiodun Ogunbitan – Fundraising Coordinator.

  And then we have a team of Assistants helping the Next 7 who are all supported by the Beautiful volunteer mentors and divas of G.O.D!

  One Big Committed Family..changing the world, one woman at a time! #changeagents #womensupportingwomen #godsowndivas #mentorsforlife!